Last night was terrible, sorry fio but that's an awful idea. I went to work today and was hit with a little introspection. The programme was a little different, which allowed me to interact with some of my colleagues. Today, being the first day I met them, I was able to have lunch and sit through a couple of lectures together.
These colleagues are specifically, 3 girls. By the end of the day, they seemed to be really at ease with me, it was obvious through their posture, choice of words and jokes they made. In fact, I could see it in their eyes that I have been strictly categorised in the "friends" ladder. I began to question why this was so as I rode home. What exactly did I do to fuck myself over?
I came to this conclusion. Its a combination of my small size, bookish looks and the final damning feature? My self-deprecating humour. Sure it makes me a lot of friends and keeps the attention but it also disqualifies me. With that brand of humour, I instantly put girls at ease but at the same time it immediately destroys any form of sexual tension that may exist. Furthermore, I realise I tend to do it excessively to the point where its almost natural.
I must stop this. Right now. Perhaps it will change my personality, maybe I will become uninteresting and boring. But looking at the choices, I guess there is no choice at all.
No comments:
Post a Comment